A641.4.3.RB - Tipping Points of Emotional Intelligence

I experienced a tipping point early in my graduate-study track. I was about three months into my MBAA program, and the stress was starting to get to me. My first term had been a foundations course, and it had gone fairly smoothly. In it, I was able to get back into the swing of schoolwork — the routine, the reading, the constant to-do list management — which was helpful, since I hadn’t taken a class in anything since college, about a decade ago.

At this point, I was experiencing a Positive Emotional Attractor (PEA): I had gotten through my first term and on the way toward my master’s, which I envisioned opening up a variety of professional doors down the road. Things were good, promising — but then I hit my first real speed bump.

I ratcheted up the intensity in Term 2, taking two classes instead of one on top of a full-time job and family. Obviously, that meant more of everything: lunchbreaks spent doing homework, weekends spent reading and writing — but the topic of one of my classes, finance, is what really tripped me up. Never a “math guy,” I hadn’t taken a numbers-focused class in about 12 years, and I had never taken a calculus class. But, none the less, there I was, faced with graduate-level calc equations, and I was struggling.

The difficulty I had during that class led to even more hours working, and I remember nights I spent calculating equations for hours, only to still get quiz questions wrong. The pressure was mounting, and the extra hours I was putting into my work was something my wife had to adjust to, as well. The PEA was starting to slide, but it didn’t completely tip over into a Negative Emotional Attractor (NEA) until I spoke with my advisor and learned that I had to maintain a B, not a C, in the course in order to continue on my degree path. Since I had set up an aggressive timeline — I planned to complete the 2-year program in just 14 months — getting less than a B in the course would set back my whole plan.

This is when I started spiraling.

The theory of tipping-point leadership states that tipping the hurdles of Resources, Cognition, Politics, and Motivation “leads to rapid strategy reorientation and execution” (Kim, 2003). This can work in reverse, to one’s detriment, as well, and I felt as though I was watching it happen in real time. It seemed like I didn’t have enough weeks left in the term (resources) to fully grasp the math (cogitation); my relationship with my wife was feeling strained because of our lack of quality time together (politics); and I was losing my drive (motivation).

Having officially reached the tipping point into negativity, I began to question the whole program. If I can’t maintain my timeline, I wondered, is it even worth it to keep taking these classes? My thinking was becoming fatalistic and dramatic, and I knew I had to make a decision.

Whereas my first tipping point came slowly, through an incremental build-up of stress and worry, my tip back over toward PEA was swifter. I made a decision: I wasn’t going to give up. I found a tutor, who agreed to meet once a week to help. After my first session with her, I was hopeful and determined again. The NEA had tipped once more, this time for the better, and I finished the term, bringing my grade back up to an A, and I never considered quitting again.

“Both cognitive and emotional intelligence competencies predict performance” (Boyatzis, 2006).  I know now, looking back, that I was able to handle the cognitive side, but faced with mounting stress and uncertainty, I began to question that, which clouded my emotional intelligence. I couldn’t get by just on intellect — I needed to believe it was possible. That’s what changed everything.

If I had to do this all again, I wouldn’t wait to get a tutor. I have a tendency to try to acomplish everything on my own, but having enough self-awareness to see that that instinct isn’t always healthy would have been a huge help. “Emotional intelligence competency is an ability to recognize, understand, and use emotional information about oneself or others that leads to or causes effective or superior performance” (Boyatzis, 2006). In this case, the NEA had blinded me, and instead of recognizing my strengths and weaknesses as a worker/student, I began to see only the downsides and wonder if I even had what it took to complete this level of coursework in the first place.  

In a sense, though, by recognizing that I needed help, I behaved like a tipping-point leader, one who “puts their key managers face-to-face with the operational problems so that the managers cannot evade reality” (Kim, 2003). I didn’t just hope or pretend that everything was going to turn out OK. I knew that, if I was not going to give up (which I didn’t want to do), I had to face the problem head-on. “Understanding the need for change and armed with a clear direction towards the future, execution speed and efficiency will increase” (Christensen, 2009). After committing to my new, proactive plan, change came very quickly. My confidence returned. I found a healthier work-life balance. And I made it through.

It feels especially good to write that now — only about a month out from finishing my entire program in earnest.

References

Boyatzis, R. (2006). Using tipping points of emotional intelligence and cognitive competencies to predict financial performance of leaders. Psicothema, Vol. 18, p. 124-131.  http://www.psicothema.com/psicothema.asp?id=3287

Christensen, K. (2009). Tipping-point leadership. Retrieved from http://www.forbesindia.com/interview/rotman/tippingpoint-leadership/5582/1

Kim, W. C., & Mauborgne, R. (2003, -04-01T05:00:00Z). Tipping point leadership. Harvard Business Review, Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2003/04/tipping-point-leadership